FOOSH ALOT

THIS WAS AN ASSIGNMENT/JOURNAL ENTRY FOR MY COMM I CLASS. THIS DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN BUT IF IT DID, MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE.

So I was driving down the road and I got a flat tire, which caused me to have to pull over and stop. Knowing that if I am late to work, my boss will not be very happy with me, I dig my phone out of my pocket and get out of the car. As I'm getting out of the car, I step on a banana peel and slip, falling on [my] out-stretched hand. I hear Mario and Luigi laughing in the distance. 

Seeing as I just FOOSH'd, I come to the conclusion that the pain in my arm is most likely a fracture. With my other hand, I try to call my boss. The annoying secretary answers. She hates me because I put a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink so that when she went to put water in the coffeepot, it sprayed all over her. She hangs up on me. I call again, this time pretending to be a potential client hoping to speak with the boss. The witch bought it. I explained my situation to my boss as a gaggle of flying fish 

pass by me and he asks if I'm high. I respond with a no and ask why he was asking me that and he said that today was my day off and that a really hip apotamus just walked in the door so he had to go. A lethally poisonous yellow-spotted lizard 

(from the book Holes) licks my fractured arm and it feels better. Alot meanders by and eats my car, regurgitating it moments later with all four tires perfectly fine. I get back behind the wheel only to discover that the steering wheel has been replaced by a donut. When I get home, my hands are sticky from the donut and my cat climbs up my leg. I then realize that I don't even have a job. I look around and wonder what that sickly sweet smell is as I wander around the house with sticky hands and a cat attached to my leg.