Chicken Thumbs and Chia Pets

THIS WAS AN ASSIGNMENT/JOURNAL ENTRY FOR MY COMM I CLASS. THIS DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN BUT IF IT DID, I WOULD BE VERY VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.

So basically when I woke up this morning, I saw that I had managed to park my car mostly on top of someone else's car. Rather confused but also insanely proud, I began asking my buddies (whom I had been out with last night) about what had happened. This is what they told me:

I was doing pretty good, playing pool at the bar with them when a dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget walked in and gave me a turtleneck sweater. I said, "Thanks, it'll go great with my backpack," and proceeded to pull a backpack out of my pocket.

Then the dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget turned into a dinosaur-shaped chicken finger and I engaged it in a conversation about chicken thumbs and how they really must be accumulating somewhere because everyone always orders chicken fingers and no chicken thumbs. The dinosaur-shaped chicken finger Gibbs-slapped me and moon walked out of the bar.

Upon leaving the bar, I bumped into a ninja who gave me a Chia pet. He told me that he had been wandering this earth for quite some time looking for someone he could give the Chia pet to but every time he tried to give it away, the person would go on as if the ninja was invisible. I was the first person to actually bump into a ninja

I put the on the turtleneck and I put the Chia pet in the backpack, putting the backpack on.

While walking to my car, I decided that wearing a turtleneck and a backpack was like being strangled by a really weak guy so I loosened the backpack straps. After almost falling several times on the slippery ice, I got in my car just as a wombat on a toboggan zoomed past. When I got home, I realized someone had painted my house a horrid yellow and blue. 

I was so enraged that I quickly jumped out of the car, tackled the nearest train, and jumped back inside all within 5 seconds.

I've always been bad at parallel parking but didn't think it strange when the end result was my car leaning forward. When I opened the door, I fell out. I didn't think my car was that tall. And now it's morning and I'm even prouder than before now that I know the events that led up to my car being parked on top of my neighbor's car. My house is still that nasty color scheme and I have a horrible headache.  And I have a turtleneck that smells like chicken nuggets. Oh and I have a Chia pet that I have to take care of.