Alright, so I have this one song that basically sums up my life/world/whatever you wanna call it. Maybe you've heard it? It's by Monday Morning and it's called "Wonder Of It All (Next Year)". Maybe not. Either way, it kinda seems to be my life in song and verse. I have a bunch of my senior pictures that I edited with the lyrics and I'll put the lyrics beneath each picture and maybe write a little explanation every so often.
"All my hopes and dreams insideSomething new behind it grows
And you smile as my heart knows
To be another still with you
I'm the one who loved you through
But I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing next to you"
I chose a picture of me and my little sister mainly because of the line "I'm the one who loved you through" because she has always been there for me even when I didn't think she was. I love her to pieces and we both dream big.
"What I've seen and where I've been
What's breaking out and breaking in
Who I love and I despise
Melting into compromise
How I've changed and how I've learned
Becoming less, becoming more
But I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing without you"
I love this picture because it's a beautiful shot and because I adore my horse, a Quarter horse/Belgian mix named Preacher. He is my therapy and watching him calms me.
"The sickness my mind's battled long
The center of my every song
The beauty of my voice it fades
Into a spiritual cascade
Flowing from your perfect smile
I've avoided all the while
But I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing next to you"
I can really identify with this verse because it mentions "the sickness my mind's battled long". Living with ADHD and Asperger's, my mind seems to always battle itself.
"All the future seems unclear
Never moving, never near
But you hold me as I scream
Wake me from my wicked dream
Something out there waits for me
Hand in hand we wait for it
But I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing without you"
This verse holds one of two of my favorite parts of this song: "all the future seems unclear/never moving, never near/but you hold me as I scream/wake me from my wicked dream". Even though I know my major and what my degree will be, I have no clue what I'm going to do with it. All I know is that I love what I do, even if I'm not very good at it.
"And the wonder of it all
Is I'm still standing
And the wonder of it all
Is we're still standing
Never planned it
And I wonder where I'll be
Next year"
Again, I chose this picture of me and my beloved horse because as I look back on just my senior year of high school, I remember wondering how I was going to get through the day, let alone how I was going to get to graduation and to college.
"Will you stand right next to me
Will you hold me faithfully
Should I question all these things
What makes me so deserving
Of something that I've thrown away
Coming back for me today
When I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing next to you"
I chose this picture because this is my mom's favorite out of all the pictures that my sister and I took together. I put it with these lyrics "will you stand right next to me/will you hold me faithfully" because no matter what happens, my sister's always watching out for me. Even though I'm the oldest.
"Hearts are broken just to mend
When will my brokenness end
Lending my mind to dreams it seems
Some things are never meant to be
But faith it lingers as I die
Inside surrendering I cry
But I'm still nothing next to you
I'm still nothing without you"
I have had my heart broken so many times, mainly because I have the tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve even though I act like I don't. I have asked myself "when will my brokenness end"? And when I think about it, "some things were never meant to be". God has always been there for me, even when it felt like He was ignoring me.
"And the wonder of it all
Is I'm still standing
And the wonder of it all
Is we're still standing
Never planned it
And I wonder where I'll be
Next year"
I love this picture because it's so simple. I am the most simple-complex person you will ever meet. Some days, I'll sit in the student center and just look at everything around me and I will be completely amazed that I'm actually in college. It seems so surreal.
"Time is a broken dream
Time is an endless change
Time is an offering
Time has the endless sting
Time has a world to bring
Time, it's a broken dream
That's mended while lovers sing"
I chose this picture because without these girls, I don't want to know where I would be. I have spent a lot of time with each and every one of these girls and I love them to death.
"And the wonder of it all
Is I'm still standing
And the wonder of it all
Is we're still standing
Never planned it
And I wonder where I'll be
Next year"
This is one of my mom's favorite of all the pictures that were taken for my senior pictures. Here I am, a little over a year later and I can honestly say that I never thought I would be where I am today. And like the chorus says, "I wonder where I'll be next year".
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