Hyperactive Dasani-Fearing Aliens With A Degree Audit

Yeah, Dasani like the water bottle. Why? Because I have several bottles of water strategically placed throughout my half of the room. Why? Just in case. Just in case of what? YOU ARE SO NOSY! Gah! But that's to be expected if you're reading this. I think I spelled 'nosy' wrong but my Mac is saying that it's spelled right. N-O-S-Y just doesn't look right. Oh well. Back to Dasani.

So yeah, due to the fact that I have been having cough attacks, I have been making sure that every place in my half of the room has a water bottle within arm's reach. I kinda feel like that little girl in the movie Signs. You know, the cute little girl who is always leaving glasses of water around the house because she says it's contaminated? Yeah, her. Except I don't have an older brother who wears aluminum foil on his head. Although I wish I did. That'd be legit. But I figured I'm ready for the aliens. Not only do I have water, but I also have several heavy objects that I could beat them with. 

I really wish I had a wooden baseball bat. Never know when it would come in handy. And before you ask, yes, I definitely would carry it around with me. If you're wondering why I look paranoid, join the club. I just thought it fit better than a smile.

People keep saying that Boyfriend and I make a cute couple and eventually I will get around to putting a picture of him (and-slash-or us) on here. No promises, though. I try my hardest not to make promises that way no one has a reason to be upset with me when I don't follow through.

Anyways, Boyfriend told me that I wear him out because I'm hyperactive and bouncy and random and stuff like that. He is seven years older than me, but I didn't think that that was a big gap, especially because Mama and Daddy are twelve years apart and either Daddy is on Speed, or Mama is on...something. But they always seem to keep up with each other. Then again, Daddy's 50-something and Mama is 40-something, so I guess when you get older, the hyperactive-ness goes down. Basically, I'm insane. 

You know it's true, so don't try to argue. 

Okay so basically today has been rather annoying. I'm waiting rather impatiently for 5:00pm to roll around so that I can register for the spring semester. Boyfriend already registered because he's a sophomore. I'm hoping to take 17 hours. In case you didn't know, a full-time student takes 12-14 hours. So instead of the normal five classes, I'll be taking six, one of which I'm not really supposed to take (according to my degree audit) until my like sophomore year or something like that. But then again my degree audit said to take my history class I-forgot-what-year-but-not-my-freshman-year. 

Oh, and I'm wearing my glasses. Total nerd day? Yes.

Oh and another thing. For those of you who play World of Warcraft, you understand the following picture.

Heck yes. A new age begins. Fear me.

Zombie Cough/Spaz/Panic Attack

So far today has been epic and not really in the best way possible. Going to bed at 2-3am and waking up at 7:30 is not a good idea. I've always heard that babies need the most sleep and I beg to differ. I need more sleep than an infant. I have decided these mainly because I feel like a zombie. That's how tired I am. Like I'm so tired I'm having trouble with the illustrations. So please forgive me if they are retarded today...well, more so than normal. 

See. This is what I feel like. And yes. I have arms. This came as a shock to me too. So don't get too excited...or whatever emotion it is you people uh...yeah. I forgot where I was going with that sentence. SEE? INEEDSLEEP.

About 2 hours ago, however, this is what I was feeling like:

Dedz. Horribly, terribly, coughingly, dedz. I had a cough/spaz attack in the middle of chapel. It was really quiet and my coughing was really loud and I couldn't stop coughing and everyone was looking at me even Boyfriend who did nothing but sit there and look at me. >.> Thank you Boyfriend.

I'm not mad at him. There really was nothing that anyone could do. I actually had no clue what to do. I was panicking to the extreme. Which I suppose my little episode can now be called a cough/spaz/panic attack. Yeah. That sounds about right. 

I hate history.

Like I hate it so much, my hatred for Windows isn't even comparable to my hatred for history. I literally wanted to beat my head against a wall for hours on end until either the wall came crumbling down or until I passed out. THAT is how much I HATEHATEHATE history.

Whew. Now that I got that out of the way...no...wait.

HAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE IT. 

Am I done now? Oh my gosh I have no clue. I'm slightly scared of myself now. 

>.>

<.<

Does anyone know where I left my invisibility cloak? I can't seem to find it...

Comedy and Paint

A couple nights ago, my boyfriend (whom I shall refer to as Boyfriend) put some Dane Cook and Mitch Hedberg on my iPod touch. I started listening to comedians at around 5:00 this afternoon. It is now about 9:00 at night and I've listened to two hours (-/+) of Dane Cook and I'm almost done with Mitch Hedberg's first CD. 

"...a severed foot is the ultimate stocking-stuffer..." -Mitch Hedberg

This is me after 4 hours of comedy. I'm starting to wonder if I need some sort of help because there is no way at all that this amount of comedy is healthy for anyone. 

Oh yeah. Yes, I drew that myself. I was reading one of the blogs that I follow (called Hyperbole and a Half, which you can go to if you click here) and I got the idea to start illustrating my blogs. But I had a dilemma. 

There was no Windows Paint for Mac. 

Yeah. This was a big problem for several reasons:

1.) even though I have Windows on my Mac, I don't like Windows.

2.) in fact, I hate Windows.

3.) but I'm torn because all my favorite computer games (Nancy Drew) are for Windows.

4.) other than that, I hate Windows.

5.) it's evil. 

6.) BUT the main reason is that there really is no other program that compares to Paint.

So I GOOGLE'D it. And I found it. And I am happy. 

This is me. Well, this is my self-portrait of myself. I have no arms and I have no legs and I have no ears and I have no nose. And I have no hair. BUT I do have a hat. My hat. My glorious wonderful hat that I love so much. Why do I love this hat so much? 

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING WITH MY HAIR UNTIL FEBRUARY! HA!

Yes, I am insanely proud of myself. 

Wait...

If I don't have any ears...then where are the iPod cords coming from in the first picture?!

I have no clue. And I have hair in this one. And color. 

BUT I STILL HAVE MY HAT! AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!

I've been playing Words With Friends with Boyfriend and he's beating me. Severely. 222 to 67. I'm the 67. 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Chicken Thumbs and Chia Pets

THIS WAS AN ASSIGNMENT/JOURNAL ENTRY FOR MY COMM I CLASS. THIS DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN BUT IF IT DID, I WOULD BE VERY VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.

So basically when I woke up this morning, I saw that I had managed to park my car mostly on top of someone else's car. Rather confused but also insanely proud, I began asking my buddies (whom I had been out with last night) about what had happened. This is what they told me:

I was doing pretty good, playing pool at the bar with them when a dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget walked in and gave me a turtleneck sweater. I said, "Thanks, it'll go great with my backpack," and proceeded to pull a backpack out of my pocket.

Then the dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget turned into a dinosaur-shaped chicken finger and I engaged it in a conversation about chicken thumbs and how they really must be accumulating somewhere because everyone always orders chicken fingers and no chicken thumbs. The dinosaur-shaped chicken finger Gibbs-slapped me and moon walked out of the bar.

Upon leaving the bar, I bumped into a ninja who gave me a Chia pet. He told me that he had been wandering this earth for quite some time looking for someone he could give the Chia pet to but every time he tried to give it away, the person would go on as if the ninja was invisible. I was the first person to actually bump into a ninja

I put the on the turtleneck and I put the Chia pet in the backpack, putting the backpack on.

While walking to my car, I decided that wearing a turtleneck and a backpack was like being strangled by a really weak guy so I loosened the backpack straps. After almost falling several times on the slippery ice, I got in my car just as a wombat on a toboggan zoomed past. When I got home, I realized someone had painted my house a horrid yellow and blue. 

I was so enraged that I quickly jumped out of the car, tackled the nearest train, and jumped back inside all within 5 seconds.

I've always been bad at parallel parking but didn't think it strange when the end result was my car leaning forward. When I opened the door, I fell out. I didn't think my car was that tall. And now it's morning and I'm even prouder than before now that I know the events that led up to my car being parked on top of my neighbor's car. My house is still that nasty color scheme and I have a horrible headache.  And I have a turtleneck that smells like chicken nuggets. Oh and I have a Chia pet that I have to take care of. 

FOOSH ALOT

THIS WAS AN ASSIGNMENT/JOURNAL ENTRY FOR MY COMM I CLASS. THIS DID NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN BUT IF IT DID, MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE.

So I was driving down the road and I got a flat tire, which caused me to have to pull over and stop. Knowing that if I am late to work, my boss will not be very happy with me, I dig my phone out of my pocket and get out of the car. As I'm getting out of the car, I step on a banana peel and slip, falling on [my] out-stretched hand. I hear Mario and Luigi laughing in the distance. 

Seeing as I just FOOSH'd, I come to the conclusion that the pain in my arm is most likely a fracture. With my other hand, I try to call my boss. The annoying secretary answers. She hates me because I put a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink so that when she went to put water in the coffeepot, it sprayed all over her. She hangs up on me. I call again, this time pretending to be a potential client hoping to speak with the boss. The witch bought it. I explained my situation to my boss as a gaggle of flying fish 

pass by me and he asks if I'm high. I respond with a no and ask why he was asking me that and he said that today was my day off and that a really hip apotamus just walked in the door so he had to go. A lethally poisonous yellow-spotted lizard 

(from the book Holes) licks my fractured arm and it feels better. Alot meanders by and eats my car, regurgitating it moments later with all four tires perfectly fine. I get back behind the wheel only to discover that the steering wheel has been replaced by a donut. When I get home, my hands are sticky from the donut and my cat climbs up my leg. I then realize that I don't even have a job. I look around and wonder what that sickly sweet smell is as I wander around the house with sticky hands and a cat attached to my leg.